U*U BDSM Dom Desmond Ravenstone Gets A Tongue Lashing For His Pro-BDSM U*U BS Courtesy Of The Emerson Avenger

The following TEA blog post was submitted as a follow-up comment responding to the dU*Ubious response of Mr. U*U BDSM, aka the ravishing Desmond Ravenstone, to my comment taking him to task for his rather hypocritical response to Rev. Albert Mohler's alleged call for women to "submit graciously" to their husbands. Apparently it was a bit *too* "hot" for U*U sexuality expert Rev. Debra Haffner to handle. . . I will add some (im)pertinment hyperlinks to this version of my comment.

:Shows how little you know about BDSM...

Not at all Desmond. I know quite a bit more about BDSM than you might think. Amongst other things I once tried to help a bipolar "submissive" get back on her feet after a suicide attempt. For the record I only found out that she was a "submissive" *after* noticing her suicidal thoughts and seeking to protect her from actually committing suicide. I kept a "suicide watch" on her and called her family and appropriate emergency services when it appeared that she was about to commit suicide.

:Dominance and submission is not focused on gender; there are female dominants, not to mention same-gender D/s couples.

I am perfectly aware of that Desmond, but I was responding specifically to your hypocritical criticism of Rev. Albert Mohler's alleged -

major role in drafting the 2000 revision of the Baptist Faith and Message, which calls for women to "submit graciously" to their husbands.

Heck I once got into a spot of trouble with militant feminists who were blaming "patriarchy" for all the woes of the world by asking them how "patriarchy" explained lesbian S&M. . . Did I forget to mention that the suicidal "submissive" in question considered herself to be a Christian submissive and referenced the very same Biblical doctrine(s) about wives being submissive to their husbands as Rev. Albert Mohler in her justification and rationalization of her chosen fate of being a "submissive"?

:There is also no single paradigm for D/s relationships,

I couldn't agree more Desmond, but unfortunately for you and your questionable efforts to promote BDSM as being compatible with "The U*U Movement" aka Unitarian*Universalism, that includes the "safe, sane, consensual" paradigm for D/s relationships and BDSM more generally. . . BTW I have not forgotten how you have tried to cover up and hide a certain unmentionable UU minister's illegal, indeed criminal, "less than right" relations with teenage Tibetan refugees who he had lured to his UU parish which involved "less than safe" "less than sane" and "less than consensual" bondage, domination, sadism, and forced sexual submission. So please spare me your pro-BDSM propaganda about how "safe, sane, and consensual" BDSM is.

:nor do we claim that any such paradigm is commanded by any deity or religious authority.

Oh really Desmond? Am I too take it that you as something of a self-proclaimed U*U "authority" in BDSM are quite ignorant of "Christian" BDSM? Or are you just conveniently turning a blind eye to the fact that both Christian "doms" and Christian "submissives" use the very same Biblical scriptures that cause Rev. Albert Mohler and other conservative Christians to call upon women to be *submissive* to their husbands to justify and rationalize their BDSM "lifestyle"? Don't tell me you didn't know that Desmond. . .

:Above all else, BDSM is rooted in the ethics of consent. Partners come together as equals, and negotiate the terms of their relationship.

Don't worry Desmond I have heard that pro-BDSM propaganda aka BDSM BS before. This may be true for a subset of the people involved in BDSM aka Bondage and Discipline *Sadism* and Masochism but by no means all of them. Far from it. . . I mean you did just suggest that there is "no single paradigm" for BDSM didn't you?

:We don't expect everyone to "do what we do", but we would hope that more couples took the time to talk about what each person wanted, needed and expected of one another.

Who's "We" Desmond? Each and every person who engages in Bondage & Discipline *Sadism* and Masochism? I think not. . . In any case don't you think that Rev. Albert Mohler and other conservative Christians "hope that more couples took the time to talk about what each person wanted, needed and expected of one another" when it comes to wives being *submissive* to their husbands Desmond?



Here is my comment that responded to Rev. Debra W. Haffner's comment about her refusal to post mybrebuttal of Desmond Ravenstome's BDSM BS -

You didn't read three sentences, only two of them mine. . . "all the way" through Rev. Haffner? Whatever happened to a free and *responsible* search for truth and meaning? I stand 100% behind what I said in my initial comment, as well as my point-by-point rebuttal of Desmond Ravenstone's rather dubious, if not disingenuous, respose to my critical comment. I have posted my rebuttal to my own blog for those who care to read it and so that Desmond Ravenstone can respond to it if he cares to.

Comments

"BTW I have not forgotten how you have tried to cover up and hide a certain unmentionable UU minister's illegal, indeed criminal, "less than right" relations with teenage Tibetan refugees who he had lured to his UU parish which involved "less than safe" "less than sane" and "less than consensual" bondage, domination, sadism, and forced sexual submission. "

Thats not BDSM, thats abuse. There is a difference.
Robin Edgar said…
Nicholas you are half right. *That* it is indeed sexual abuse and, in that a U*U minister committed that sexual abuse, it is also clergy sexual abuse aka clergy sexual misconduct. In fact it is forcible rape that involved some bondage (Rev. Mack Mitchell sometimes tied his victims to the bed), psychological and physical domination, forced sexual submission and, in light of the forgoing, a certain amout of Sadism. . . Unfortunately Rev. Mack Mitchell's teenaged Tibetan refugee victims were not masochists and thus did not derive any pleasure from his bondage and domination and Sadism or what Desmond Ravenstone would call ravishment. Now please tell me the difference between Rev. Mack Mitchell's non-consensual "ravishment" of teenage Tibetan refugees who he lured to his U*U parish with promises of a better life in America and Bondage and Domination Sadism and Masochism. It seems to me that there is only one element missing from the equation. Please allow me to remind you that Desmond Ravenstone acknowledges that there is "no single paradigm" for BDSM. . . For the record the UUA's very aptly named Ministerial *Fellowship* Committee did not get around to defellowshipping Rev. Mack Mitchell until several months after he was convicted of forcible rape.

So thank you so much for indirectly acknowledging that Mr. U*U BDSM the ravishing Desmond Ravenstone engaged in the *cover-up* of egregious clergy sexual abuse committed by U*U minister Rev. Mack Mitchell in knowingly and willfully suppressing a comment that I had submitted to his blog.
"Now please tell me the difference between Rev. Mack Mitchell's non-consensual "ravishment" of teenage Tibetan refugees who he lured to his U*U parish with promises of a better life in America and Bondage and Domination Sadism and Masochism."

The difference is when I have someone tie me up I've consented to it before hand, and I maintain the ability to tell them to stop. In this case the Tibetan refugees didn't have this choice.

Consent is the difference between sexual abuse and BDSM.
Robin Edgar said…
Nicholas, what part of Desmind Ravenstone's assertion that there is "no single paradigm" for BDSM do you fail to understand? Do you really believe that all Bondage and Domination and Sadism and Masochism is consensual? I would say that only a very small proportion is actually consensual and even some of the consensual BDSM is questionable. I dare say that the Marquis de Sade would probably think that you are a fool. . .
My definition of BDSM specifically includes that all parties consent.

Consent and "no single paradigm" are not mutually exclusive.